“Would you rather?”

One of my favorite icebreakers is the game “Would you rather?” It always starts easy… “Would you rather have dogs or cats?” “Would you rather have sweet or savory?” “Would you rather date Brad Pitt or George Clooney?” 

Dogs. Savory. Brad Pitt. (Every time). 

But of course, like any game, the stakes get higher the longer you play and you’re asked tougher questions: 

“Would you rather see the future or change the past?” 

“Would you rather eat a spoonful of wasabi or drink a cup of vinegar?” 

“Would you rather marry Chris Hemsworth with bad breath or Chris Evans with body odor?” 

These are harder to answer. Same degree of difficulty for me as the following question: “Would you rather be strong or skinny?” Growing up in the late 80’s during the birth of the supermodel era shapes one’s idea of what beauty looks like. The towering heights of Linda Evangelista or Claudia Schiffer was daunting enough, but Kate Moss’ quote of “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” was a genuine “Under Pressure” moment. Like many other women, I would obsess about my weight, my BMI and my dress size. 

I started getting comfortable in my own skin when I turned 40 (life experience and the right life partner were key) but I would still feel bad when the scale would not move even after going on a diet or regularly working out. 

When I had to pivot to strength training to manage my menopause symptoms, I still used the scale as my barometer for success. My husband would remind me that muscle is heavier than fat — I should be less worried about the number on the scale, I should be more focused on the amount that I could lift. 

I needed a major shift to my perspective. It was best captured by a post by @floridaray18, and it was like a lightbulb went off.

Instead of losing weight, think about gaining strength. 
Instead of losing inches, think about gaining longevity. 
Instead of losing cellulite, think about gaining confidence. 
Instead of obsessing on what you lose, focus on what you achieve.

Which would I rather? Strong, not skinny. 

And don’t worry, I didn’t forget my other answers. 

Change the past. Eat a spoonful of wasabi. And date Chris Hemsworth with bad breath… AND body odor.