I’ve spent decades juggling work, deadlines, and corporate drama across seven countries. I survived cancer, menopause is keeping life interesting, and somehow, I became a grandmother (which is turning out to be my best plot twist yet). 

Now that I’m in my Second Spring, I’m finding that  I have the energy to take more second chances but also now have zero f*cks to give.  I am done with things that drain me –just like I’m done with my work blazers that pair perfectly with unwanted stress and unnecessary meetings. 

If any of this sounds familiar, maybe this is your season to declutter, too. Here are the 5 things I’m leaving behind…because doing a top 10 is also now too tiring to do so:

1. Saying Yes When I Mean No

For years, I agreed to things out of a sense of guilt or self-imposed obligation — extra work, forced smiles at networking events, favors I didn’t have time for – all because I wanted to be the “best student” or “head girl”. These days, my yes is mindful, and my no is guilt-free. Midlife is about choosing to be peaceful vs. just being polite. 

2. Being With People Out of Obligation vs. Connection

That friend who only calls to talk about herself?  That colleague who only messages to whinge about work? That relative who only greets you with, “Did you gain weight?”  Energy vampires, drama magnets, guilt-trippers…. I’m sure you’ve encountered your fair share.  It really is more than OK to quietly step away from people who don’t bring light or laughter in your life. 

3. Ditching Uncomfortable Clothes (and Expectations)

No more heels that hurt nor underwire bras that suffocate. No more buying monograms for the sake of status or buying the latest trends to feel relevant.   I dress for comfort instead of approval. However,  to be clear, there is a difference between being comfortable and being complacent. .  While the high heels may have retired, it doesn’t mean I’ve lowered my standards. I still dress appropriately — and dressing down doesn’t mean letting go (which my husband is grateful for).  I wear clothes for the joy of knowing that I am taking good care of myself and I accessorize to find  beauty in the creative expression it provides.   

4. The Comparison Game

I am not falling into the trap of comparing with that influencer with glass skin who has an entire hair and make-up team. I’ve stopped comparing with that former colleague who seems perfect but probably has struggles she’s not posting about. And most of all, I am no longer comparing with the younger version of myself – the one whom I thought could’ve looked better but was actually at her most beautiful at that age.  I remind myself that my midlife glow-up isn’t about keeping up— lived experience, mixed with a dash of humility and a pinch of humour,  has a way of teaching you that.

5. The Need To DO-IT-ALL

Every Filipino woman my age will remember this question posed to a Miss Universe contestant when the Philippines hosted in 1994:  “If you were a fictional character, who would you be and why?” And she answered, “Superwoman, because she helps a lot of people and does many deeds for our world.”  I knew then and there that she wasn’t going to make it any further because it was a bad answer…. nerd that I was, I knew Superwoman did not exist in the comics.  And yet, I thought I could be – do it all and have it all.  I spent years proving I could handle everything: work, family, life.  It cost me the dissolution of my first marriage when I was younger and my health when I was older.  Outsource, ignore, delegate.  We don’t need to do it all.  We just need to do enough. 

If there is one thing my corporate life taught me, it’s that strategy is not only about the things you do, it is also about the things you don’t do. 

Keep the joy, Shed the nonsense. Everyone deserves a midlife cleanse.