When people ask me about my hobbies, I tell them: reading, travelling and… googling.  I love a good internet deep dive — whether it’s spoilers for the latest movies or obscure facts about the British royals. 

But when I was diagnosed with cervical cancer, I hit pause on the internet rabbit holes. Self-preservation took over, and I stuck to what my doctors told me about the treatments and their side effects: fatigue, nausea, and… incontinence. One friend told me she prayed for me to have both a strong mind and body, and I kindly requested a little extra prayer for a strong bladder.

They also mentioned the radiation would mean no more babies. At 49, that wasn’t a concern. But what they didn’t tell me was that I’d be diving headfirst into menopause. Cue the joint pain, brain fog, and mood swings – all separate from the cancer! I felt like I was losing myself. So, what did I do? I googled away…

• A French doctor introduced the term menopause from the Greek menos (month) and pausis (cessation) in 1821.  Apparently, ‘what the f*ck is happening to me’ was not medically friendly.

• No two women’s menopause is the same, but they will experience at least one of 48 (!) possible symptoms.  And if you’re lucky to live long enough, it is inevitable.    So for women, there are three certainties in life:  death, taxes and menopause. 

• Only humans and certain species of whales such as orcas experience menopause.   Not exactly life-changing info but useful for trivia nights … and if you ever need to bond with a killer whale.

Most intriguingly, in my native language, there’s no real word for menopause. We just borrow the English menopos or refer to it as “Huling Dalaw” (literally, “The Last Visit“) which frankly sounds like a good title for a horror movie.  This makes perfect sense given the random screaming, sleepless nights, and urge to investigate squeaky noises… until you realize those noises are coming from you. 

Then, I discovered something beautiful: in Traditional Chinese Medicine, menopause is called Second Spring –  a time of renewal, an energy shift from nurturing others to nurturing yourself. There’s even a poetic passage from the Yellow Emperor’s Classic of Internal Medicine:

“At seven times seven a woman’s heavenly dew wanes; the pulse of her Conception channel decreases. The Qi that dwelt in the baby’s palace moves upward into her heart, And her wisdom is deepened.” ¹  

Isn’t that lovely?  It’s about gaining wisdom… from the heart.  Wisdom that not only relies on logic or intellect but borne out of empathy, intuition and lived experience.  

And back to the whales (this time, useful info) — research has shown that grandma orcas pass down crucial knowledge to their pods: from finding the best foraging areas to teaching calves how to avoid aggressive sharks  — info that’s essential for their survival. 

So, while I still might forget why I walked into a room or get inexplicably annoyed at my husband, I’m learning to embrace the changes. I’m laughing at the quirks and taking comfort in knowing that the wisdom I’m gathering about the best places to eat and which types of sharks to avoid (e.g. nasty bosses at work) will benefit my grandkids. 

Meanwhile, I’ll keep building my knowledge…. one Google search at a time. 

1. Cracking the Menopause: While Keeping Yourself Together By Mariella Frostrup